can i forgive and still love again?

If you don’t mind, I’d like you to carry out an assignment.           Go to five successful, aged married couples and ask what there secrete is, or was. You might wanna right down things. Back in your closet, analyze them all, carefully, over and over again. You will see that these people had even greater problems. But what makes the difference? Simple, “where people saw pain, disappointment, and betrayal, they saw opportunity”.            Love is a moving car, it breaks down, there has been, and will only be one mechanic, “FORGIVENESS”. Now, do you say because your car broke down somewhere along the road, you will abandon it? No, it cost you so much to afford it. So is love. I hear them say “love don’t cost a thing”. Wake up! People don’t wanna hear the truth; they want what makes them feel better. Are you man enough to face true facts and reality, or do you prefer to live in false illusions and fantasies, believing only what makes you feel better? Think! It cost you so much to be in love, the splendid times, moments when you are wrapped around yourselves, and you witness the union of minds, and bodies touching bodies, soft tender kisses and looks that drives hot liquid fire burning through your veins, and you cant think of anything else. You smile stupidly at your phone when she rings. Think about it, all the sacrifices, all the things you gave away, just for love. Something that cost you so much to afford, will you just abandon it because it has faulty engine?           Anger is instinctive, anger is inevitable. But you must learn how to control it, absorb it, change it, and use it. Unforgiveness is a handles sword; it will always leave a mark on the bearer.           You can be happy with her; the past has got absolutely nothing to do with the future, if we don’t carry it in today’s train. For me, I see an opportunity, a moment of love lost, and love found, realization and forgiveness, commitment and trust earned. A moment when you can fully understand yourselves and become those who walk across hell untouched by fear and doubt. A moment to rebuild, create legacy, and become an example to thousands of youths in the nearest future. Let’s make the world a better place, it is possible to forgive and still love again.               What you see above is the part that keeps us together, but at the same time, love is not selfish. While you are doing the entire forgiving and winning back thing, make sure it’s what she really wants, make sure she still loves and wanna be with you, make sure she’s worth the price, the pain, the fight, make sure you can have a life together. I have learnt a very long time ago, never to hold anything too tight or too strongly, you’ll break them, or they’ll give you a scar when they finally leave.           Take her outing, to a park of someplace she loves to be. Make it romantic, very romantic. Explain to her, how much you love her, how much she means to you, etc. let her know you are not perfect, but can always adjust to make her happy. Then ask her, if she really wanna be with you, if she feels the same way. Avoid getting into an argument. If she doesn’t want you, you have to let her go. Its better, it will hurt even more, if you try to force her into loving you. No body can force love.           Finally, there’s one thing you must know. “The only security the world has got to offer is when you know that you are capable of dealing with what so ever comes your way”.           I wish you luck!!!

Life is a gift

A clever man sees the world as the survival of the fittest, but a wise man knows there are no fittest who are mortals.

I have learnt a very long time ago not to hold anything too tightly, you will either break them or they will leave you with a scar when they finally escape your grip. Anything that you lost was never yours, if it’s yours, it will come back to you, but first, you have to move on. The best way to gain all that you have lost is by moving on and ahead. If you grieve so much for the past, you will never see new opportunities, new joy, new life, new course; you will live on the schedules of yesterday. Know this, we can’t protect anything in this world, not even our lives, neither can we save people or anything that is of this world. The best we can do is to make good use of what ever is given to us for the time that it has been given to us. Nothing is a do or die affair, because even we, were brought and born into this world without our consent, meaning that the world is not our property.

Life is a gift and every single person was created with a single purpose. For the fact that you are still alive means that the one who brought you without your consent is keeping you, still, for a purpose. Understand that you don’t have the power to keep or save anything. God is the only one who can take, and he is the only one who can keep. I say this from personal experience. When I look back in retrospect, about my life, I realize how powerless we are in ensuring security in anything that exists in this world. Every thing happens according to the will of the one who has brought you and me even without our consent. We must serve our purpose and let go of anything that has gone. I will now tell you a bit of my story and why I stopped bothering over earthly security.

1997, in a village farm, I was attacked by a huge, dangerous snake. That I survived that attack wasn’t by my making. That might look very funny to you but look at this next one.

1999, in the city of Abuja, I was stricken by osteoporosis leading to a major fracture on my leg which kept me on a hospital bed for over a year without setting foot on ground. Sadly, less than two months after I was discharged I lost the one person I thought I could never live my life without, the one person that has stayed and cried besides me for over a year while I moved from death to life on a hospital bed, the one person that spoke hope into my ears. I lost my mom. I felt the world busting over my head, crumbling over my shoulders, and breaking under my feet. Hope was dying and as if that wasn’t enough my dad lost his job, and so, life went from bad to worst in a family of six (6). How did I survive? It wasn’t by my making.

Ones, I escaped a hazardous petrol fire. It wasn’t by my making.

2011, I survived two terrible automobile crash, came out alive and unharmed. How did I survive? It wasn’t by my making.

So tell me, was my life a matter of luck? No, it wasn’t luck, the purpose that I serve demanded this procedures and that my life should remain and be untouched. Don’t get it twisted, I am not immortal, one day I will leave, maybe in my old days or even sooner. But right now, what I must do is to serve my purpose; also, you must discover your purpose and serve it. Now I can tell you to move on because even I have moved on.

It is purpose that defines us, keeps us, binds us, separates us, and molds us. It is purpose that makes the world go round. The world is purpose.

So then, if you are out there bothering over money, property, loved ones, or even life. I highly recommend that you embrace freedom and concentrate on the purpose for your existence. Leave every other thing for the one who has the power to take and give, leave it all for the one who has brought even you into existence without your consent. Leave it to God. Believe it or not, it is God who creates purpose, substance, life and even death. And if you really do not believe in God, here is a saying “live as if there is God, if there is God, then you will gain eternity, if there is no God, then, you lose nothing”.

Do not forget that your decisions in life are very vital to the success of your purpose and that of the world at large. God made you in his own image not because it was fun creating you, but because he wants you to govern his affairs here on earth; he wants you to be an ambassador, doing his will and only his will.

I’d like to share with you what triggered this write-up. 30minuits ago, before I started on this article, I lost something very valuable to me. I mistakenly deleted a folder containing a number of pages for a book I am working on, I didn’t have a backup. But I have moved on because I know that the same mind that wrote them can do more and even better, though, the mistake of not having a backup have been thoroughly noted. But the lost pages cannot and would never stop me from completing the book; neither will it stop the book from being what it was meant to be.

Finally, I would say this again, “I have learnt a very long time ago never to hold anything too tightly, you will either break them of they would leave you with a scar when they finally escape your grip”.

I hope this article affect your life in positive ways. Amen.

reflection of the real you

           “The only real failure in life is the failure to try” (anonymous)

            It’s time to look into the mirror and see the reflection of the real you. See beyond your skin color, gender, height, and facial construction.

            Every great vision in life starts with a vision, a vision that grows into reality. It’s all a state of mind; it all begins from the mind.

            It’s time to break loose, stop being what society says you are and start being what you want to be, who you were born to be, your purpose for existence. Nothing can stop you, only you. You have to chose, remain a sheep, or break loose from the crowd and become a lion.

            It’s time to have a change of mentality, time to let go of public opinion, a time of self realization. You are wonderfully made, take the mask off your face and prove your worth. Don’t be afraid to move, don’t be afraid to flap your wings, even if you fail, don’t be afraid to try again. Try, until you can soar high across the sky. You are an eagle, not a chicken.

“If you don’t know where you are going in this life, people will lead you to where they are going”. (A.C Gab)

I heard of a story talking about a farmer who went to the woods and picked up an eagles egg, he came home to his poultry and kept the egg to be hatched among other eggs of his chickens. The young eagle lived and grew with all the other chickens and always he would come around and check on it. He noticed apparently the difference between this young eagle and all the other chickens, the way they grew, ate, played, and did everything; the eagle was much more powerful.

            One day, while he was there, he heard a loud noise from above, in the sky, it was the mother eagle, and she had spotted her young one.

And the mother eagle began to fly round and round crying out to her son and he heard the voice, looked up above the sky and saw where he belonged, ought to be, and so he began to scream, he was restless and began to run round too. He began to flap his wings and all the chickens ran to hide themselves, they were so frightened that none dared to come out. As the mother eagle continued to go round, calling out, her young son grew angry and impatient; he began flapping his wings even harder, and all of a sudden, he found himself above ground level. All of a sudden, strength, great strength came to his wings, he tried for the first time and failed, he tried again, and again, and again, and again, and all of a sudden, he went to the sky and never came back again.

NOTE: “The power of the oppressor is in the ignorance of the oppressed”. (A.P Gbenga Igbafen)

BEEN HOT TEMPERED

Been hot tempered is a state of mind; it has one cure “stop admitting to it”. Say this to yourself when ever the rage comes boiling down your nerves, say it inside yourself, say the words, “I am not hot tempered”. Allow the words to sink and generate some kind of relief from the inside. Let this therapy take effect in your whole body, experience the healing that comes from a positive mindset, one that comes from a strong will. Now you are free.

Note: “it’s amazing to know how healing comes when we stop admitting to certain conditions” (E. Zion Ike)

NOW YOU ARE FREE

“don’t poison your future with the pain of the past” (Mike Mordock)

Take a fresh bath tonight, spend some time in the tube, let your heart melt like water; wash away the hatred, pain, and anger. As you wipe, take a moment, look back and see them flush away, draining through the flexible connector; feel them disappear, turn around and smile, its over, now you are free.

Welcome to the world of love, laughter, and kindness. Welcome to the world of freedom.

Let this therapy be a light to you. Amen.

Note: “the tragedy of life is what dies inside of a man while he still lives” (Albert Einstein)

What are you lacking?

"Money cannot fill an empty soul."

-- Julia Cameron & Mark Bryan

Where in your life are you experiencing lack?

Are you experiencing a lack of self esteem? Of humour? Of energy? Of love? Of money and abundance?

Whatever you believe you are missing, it is there to be claimed. The first step starts with shifting your perspective. See the glass as half full rather than half empty. Focus on accepting what you DO have, and more will be attracted to you.

"Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend... when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present -- love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure -- the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on earth."

-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

Unlocking the golden key of accomplishment

Most people miss opportunity because they always expect it to come fully ripped and ready for consumption.

The truth is, most times opportunity don’t come full in its whole figure. It throws a finger, if you grab it, the wrist will appear, if you grab it, the hand will be revealed, and if you persevere, you just might end up unlocking a golden key.

Note: “small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises” (Demosthenes)